Hey there…

The reason why I’m afraid…I’ve broken my elbow last year on a school camping trip (just leave it to the imagination how it happened..okay?) That was October. I got an operation. The docter screwed all my little broken bones together and my arm was fixed…or so we thougth.

Two months after the operation I still could’n straighten my arm…so my Dad made an appointment at the physiotherapist. Then she told me that because I dislocated my arm (when I broke it), the muscle tisseu began to harden, almost like bone.

Then on the 19th of February this year, I went to see another docter. We took some X-rays and found a piece of bone wedged between the two bones that make your elbow…so geuss what…jip another operation…

To be honest I hate a docter. I get chlostrophobic and emotional and scared when I walk into a hospital. I get queezy just thinking about it. The 4th of April is d-day. Then my arm gets cut open again, I can’t use my arm for about 3weeks..again, I will have to take pain killers…again (ek belowe ek sal nie weer selfmoord neigings kry nie)

The only thing that doesn’t keep me from cancelling this whole thing is the fact that I will be able to play guitar again..eventually.

I am so afraid that everything will go wrong. I’m an emotional mess right now. And I don’t trust God on this one either. Sorry but that’s how I feel. Everything with my arm has only gone from bad to worse…so I’m expecting the worst…

This will probably be my last post until mid April…I’ll do my best to keep on blogging through the school term but no promises.

Hope you had a great easter.

Love you all

Let Your Will Be Done

Let Your Will be done
Let Your Kingdom come
Let every mortal head bow
to the mercy and power
of your mighty hand

Let us tremble, let us fear
not the good in the world
but rather the evil
that can make man weak
weak

Weak to the world
and it’s perishable things
Weak to the ways of man
and their selfishness
Weak to treasures
that will be lost as we pass on
on and on

Nothing lives forever
except Your loving grace o, God
My Lord, My Saviour
The One who died
for my sins to be paid

Still we deny the only Christ
Still we choose dark instead of light
We were given thoughts
yet we do not think
We were given love
yet we choose to hate

And we call ourselves
the “evolved” human race
Why then do we destroy
not only nature
but also one another
And for what?
Money, fame, pride

All that will render useless
when the day comes
that the Lord
will take His children home

Up towards the heavens
Were there is no pain
no tears no death
but rather life and love

And that’s what You are
You are love
You are the light on our path
You are life when there is death
You live, in our hearts and minds
In the Words You have left for us
as our guiding lines
to follow you endlessly
just as You walk with us
endlessly

So I kneel before you
my God, my King
Help me set myself
and it’s feelings aside
Lord
Let Your Will be done

Still believe in miracles? I do. I’ve had the privalege to experience a miracle on Sunday eveing.

It was just after 8pm. My cell went of with my message tone. I thought that it was probably one of my friends asking about homework. Not really wanting to check I did aneway. But it wasn’t a friend. It was my cousin with whom I had no contact for the past 7 years!!! We last saw each other at my grandad’s funeral.

Just 3 weeks back I got his number from my gran. I am so excited to talk to him again. Everyday we chat for about 3 hours at a time on mxit. There’s so much to catch up on. I mean, 7 years is a long time.

Ironically…this is the cousin I didn’t get so good along with, but now we’re inseperable. We have so much in common. We’ve changed so much and missed even more of each other’s lives.

We share most of our memories of mischief we caused, one including where Jacques (my cousin) and my brother left me all alone in the middle of the farms graveyard, surrounded by tall dark trees and the noises that come along with the passing day.

We also recalled all the mud-clay figures we built at the little creek, and how all the boys would run away from me. I’m just so excited and happy to have contact with him again

Just shows you, there are still small little miracles that happen in our everyday lives.