Your words speared through my heart.   I was shattered at the thought of you going away.  My were glassy and filled with tears, but I didn’t cry.  I promised I wouldn’t.

I still remember the first time we met.  You were such a happy, crazy person.  Most of  what we talked made no sense at all, but I could tell from the sparkle in your eyes that you enjoyed it.  You asked me for my number and I gave it to you without hesitation.  I was surprised when I got that message from you: “Goodnight, Anne.”  You were the only person I liked calling me that.  I was your Anne.

‘Twas the wintry skies that made realize how I really felt.  You were my friend, one of the best.  Being understood was all I ever wanted, and you gave it to me.  Then it happened.  You became someone else’s.  I hated you.  I hated her.  I hated myself for not showing you the depths of my heart’s desires.  I had so many chances, yet I never had the guts to tell you straight up.  It was so ironic.  We spent most of our time trying to make the other one jealous.  We were so captivated in our mission that we missed each other.

The touch of your soft, warm hand upon mine is still fresh in my memory.  Your arms around me, keeping me safe from imaginary threats.  That day changed me.  You changed me.  I still recall your smile, your warmth.  You could always make me happy and you always gave the best hugs.  You were my sunshine on a cloudy day.

I remember the day you told me you were moving.  Your words shredded my heart into tiny little pieces.  Tears were burning my eyes.  I know I promised that I wouldn’t cry, but some promises can be broken.

This is the essay I wrote for the June exams…I kind of liked it so I thought about posting it..

This is my passion

You can hear the sounds of violins from two blocks away.  The sun is only at its nine o’clock position.  As you get closer, you can hear a faint background melody coming from a group of guitars.  The blissful music flows from outside the window of Madame Geisha’s

Geisha Renaldi is one of the most talented people you could ever have the pleasure to meet.  She has a singing voice of such purity and clarity that will make one shed tears in a matter of minutes.  Her dance routines lets your soul soar swiftly beside her body, mimicking every rhythmic step.  Her violin skills are transonic.  You find yourself in a state of such calmness and sensibility that you feel lost in a dream.  With all this talent, one would think that she should have a blooming career, yet all she does is teach her students the power of music.

It was on a beautiful autumn morning that my curiousness got the better of me.  I marched into Geisha’s music school with a question burning deep within my gut.  I could hear the subtle sounds of the violins in the next room.  I knocked on the door.  She opened the door and smiled faintly.  I wasted no time in asking her why she didn’t perform professionally.  Her smile brightened and she lets me inside the room.  It was filled with children; some dancing, others singing and the rest were clinging to their instruments.  She smiled with her red lips and answered softly:

“This is my passion.”

This weekend has been awesome…one of my friends came to visit me.

At first I was scared to spend time with him, but we hit it off pretty good as time passed.  I wasn’t scared of him.  I felt comfortable around him and smiled a lot.  To keep it simple, I was myself.  He told me that he was enjoying his weekend very much.  I’m glad he did, after all, I was enjoying it very much too.

Last night, after our choir’s performance, we went out for a bit.  We ate something (mostly I did but who cares) and after that I took him to most beautiful site there is to see the towns lights from.  We sat next to each other.  He gave me this whole speech about his life, the girls he’s been with.  Then he said that for once in his life he’s going to take his friends advice.  He then stood up, put his hand on my lap, the other in my neck…and then he kissed me.

This hasn’t been my first kiss, but it was definitely a unique one,  but the thing is this:  He told me he’s in love with me and I don’t quite share the same feeling.  He’s a really good friend.  That’s all I want him to be, but I didn’t have the guts to say it to him.

As we drove through the streets we came across this song Bad Day Daniel Powter.

Tis nice

Sometimes when I’m busy, I get these weird urges to write.  I immediately stop what I’m busy with and start writing until I’m finished.  This happened again tonight…and this is what I wrote…I see it as a little insight into my thoughts…

Only once

Life…infinite in its boundless mortality

one day we wil cease to end

cease to smell the rot of decaying bodies

cease to feel to smell and love…

Tomorrow is yet another day

more sorrow, more grieving

more senseless violence

more destruction

of the world He created

Once

Over and again the thought runs through my mind

who are we really:

to judge whether you’re wrong or right

to decide what’s normal

to decide whose life to claim

to decide who walks the path of crime written fame

who are we?

Once

He created this world for us to roam

Yet we tend to destroy

Not only who and what we hate

But also that which makes us hesitate

from that unknown hatred

Only once

Do you have the chance to make a difference

to fight for what’s right in His glory

In His name we come together to glorify

who are we then to deny

that He made our world only

Once

One of the biggest shocks you will get in life, is when someone you’d think you’ll never hear from again, calls, emails or SMS’es you from out of nowhere.

This has happened two times this year.

Both of these people I’ve been romantically involved with last year.

One of them contacted me again just recently.  We went our separate ways in a very bad liking of each other.  We had quite a lot of nasty fights where we scolded and swore each other.  It was really really bad.

He emailed me, asked for my forgiveness and a chance to renew our friendship.

The forgiving part is easy, that was done ages ago.  But the whole concept of talking to each other and becoming friends again, after all that was said and done, makes me feel very much uncomfortable.

To be honest: I don’t think I want to speak to him again.  It will just open up old wounds.

Is this wrong of me?

This is a shout out to Switch Blade:

If you read this, don’t think that I have no less respect for you.  I loved you dearly when we where together and I won’t forget the time we shared together.  At this stage I just don’t think it wise to be talking again.  I have tried to call you many times, but I guessed that you changed your number.  But if you really want to talk, you still have my number…

So this is it…I’m in gr12(matriek julle, whoohoo) now…wow scary isn’t it.

In the past two years I’ve grown immensely in my emotions, experienced things that I probably shouldn’t have and of course made loads of blogger friends.

I hate saying goodbye

Two friends and I just talked about our high school career.  It seemed just like yesterday that we were in gr8.   It’s scary to know that we are writing our second last school exam on the 1 September, and then our final examination starts on the 27th of October.  When we look back, there are so many memories, some of which are more sad than others.  But who am I kidding..we had a ball so for the time being I’ll be saying farewell to most of the things I knew in my school.

Goodbye, I’ll miss you

Everybody knows and loves smarties…I mean who doesn’t

It’s sugar coated chocolate for crying out loud.  But upon looking closer I found something more to smarties than just their chocolaty taste.

• They look different
• Taste the same and
• Have the same chocolaty centre

What I’m trying to say is that people can be compared with smarties.

Everyone of us looks different.  No one has the same finger- or tongue print.  How awesome is that?  Deep inside ourselves we all have the same organs.  Some have less than others, or can’t use all their organs, but it’s still there.  We all breathe in the same chemicals.  We all need oxygen.

I’ve had the privilege of getting to know to young new bloggers.  They inspire me and show me that kids of all ages are like smarties.  We all have our differences but in the end we are all the same (in arguments and such)

Jaans and Electron Guilt has opened my eyes in realising that all children (especially high school kids) have so much to say, and so many thoughts.  Thanks you guys.  We are also part of this world.  We have our own opinions about school and politics.  And besides, who knows more about the horrors of school than one who’s going to school?

But anyway, check out these blogs.  It’s interesting material

Have you ever made a decision, and a few days later you had a great regret about it?  Or have you ever made a decision and then realized that, should you have decided otherwise, you’d regret it?

This came up at the dinner table last night.

On of our oldest friends has cancer.  Just recently (I heard, being very furious with my parents for not sharing this with me) he went to hospital because his liver started to fail.  My Mom wanted to go and visit him, but then she said maybe another time.  Now he’s in hospital, chances are that he’s not coming back.  She regrets on her decision not to visit.

I went out with a boy a while back.  We had a great time and we kissed.  He wanted to go further.  I also wanted to but because of past experiences I decided not to.  Now this guy has a girlfriend.  Should I have chosen to go further that night, I would have come to regret my decision very greatly.

This just shows that the choices we make in our everyday lives are crucial.  We should think about them, try to understand what we are choosing to do, and if so, take the consequences that come with them.

Choose carefully.  Otherwise regret might be knocking at you door.

Who says dreams can’t come true?

Everyone of us has had a dream.  Some simple and some more complex.

For every dream there is a chance for you to realize it.  I’ve had the opportunity to live one of my ultimate dreams.

Every year we have several athletics meetings at our school.  Two of which you can get your teams together and cheer.  Ever since I started high school, all I dreamed of doing was being a cheerleader.  It became reality.

Not only did I have the privilege of being an Inter house cheerleader, I also had the chance of being an Inter high cheerleader.

It truly was a dream come true

Never ever ever stop believing in your dreams, who knows, it just might come true

Getting on the homosexual subject…it’s not something I ever wanted to write about, but it seems there is no choice.

Recently I got into contact again with my cousin again and saw him after 7 years.  Now his brother I also have contact with now.  This may sound very vulgar, but somehow I always suspected him to be gay.  A week ago I found that my suspicions were correct.

I don’t have a problem with it.  I respect all gays and lesbians, they were in fact also created by the Lord.  It’s just that it hits a little bit too close to home.  He has a boyfriend.  That’s a weird thing to say and it’s kind of freaking me out.

I don’t love my cousin any less because he is gay, I’m just not sure how to handle the situation.

This really makes me sad