Everybody makes mistakes.  Sometimes your forgiven and at other times, life just needs to go on.  No matter what you do or say.  Yet, your past catches up with you, and with it, the life you left behind (and the people in it) does as well.

To make a long story short:  Most of you know about Jason.  He’s the most written about individual on this blog.  Why?  Because he’s stuck in my heart.  Glued with Super Extra Strength glue.  No matter what happens, I can’t seem to get him out of my system.  I despise him, but I also love him dearly, with all my heart.  But as what I love him, I don’t yet no.

We had a fight three weeks back and haven’t spoken ever since that day.  Yesterday I heard the news that he is coming to visit.  I also heard that he wants to see me.  Is this at all wise?  Won’t we just dig up all our old, hidden feelings and then just get hurt again.  I don’t want to cry over him again.  Just this once, I would like to cry with him.  I want to hug him just one last time.  Make him laugh just one more time.  Share a Spur dessert with him just once more.

I really am at a point where I don’t know what to do.  What will happen when (and if) we see each other.  Will our eyes be filled with stars and our hearts overflowing with joy?  Or will we coldly stare at each other, blindly blaming the other for everything that went wrong with us.

I really do love him.  I knew that last year already.  The question is: Does he love me back?

Is this an opportunity to set our friendship on the right path or is it a disaster waiting to happen.  I don’t want to damage his heart any further.  I abandoned him in his time of need, I ripped out his heart with my words.  Is his visiting maybe our second chance?