Consider this…

“Considering how my life is spent…” after reading this line from On His Blindness by John Milton, I did exactly just that.

Over the past year I have grown, emotionally and spiritually. Being pretty much the same as I was, but entirely different.

My first year of being a student is over, and the second one will also soon come to pass. Reflecting back, I realize that certain things had to happen in order for me to have the life that I currently adore. One special person stands out, not only because he has my heart, but because with him I am slowly but surely finding my way back.

Lately I have been having an empty feeling, that nothing could fill except for faith. Faith in the world, faith in life, faith in myself and faith in God.

I’m looking up with a smile on my face 🙂

Pink ribbons

University is absolutely crazy!!  But I’m loving every moment of it.

All my semester tests are done for now, so it’s normal class until the 20 May.  Then it’s study study study.  Hard work but somebodies got to do it…right?? 😉

Quick updated on the Hein factor…if he really cared for me, he would have called me.  End of story, done with him (for now anyway).  Why do I need him when I have wonderful new friends (and old) in my life??  I love you guys to death and will do anything for you, as I know you will for me.

One of my new friends, Johann, has asked me to sing with him.  He has a band yes, but I will not be singing with them (metal is not for me, hehe).  We will be singing duets together at his singing lessons.  We start this Saturday.  Personally I can’t wait!!  This is like a dream come true.  Singing!! It is like my hidden passion.  I sing everywhere, thus I was completely ecstatic when he asked me to join in.  Again I realise that for a dream to become reality, it must start small.  This may be the beginnings of something exciting!!

Unfortunately life has not gone that smoothly (but when does it).  Last Thursday (May 7th 2009) my mother was again diagnosed with cancer in her left breast.  When my father gave me the news, I wasn’t at all as shocked as I thought I would be.  It is like I always considered the option, that the cancer will return, in the back of my head.

Luckily my parents were in Pretoria this weekend.  So I can say with upmost certainty that she is totally calm about this whole situation.  Yes, it is tough.  But then again, she went through cancer once and survived.  She is one tough lady 🙂 .  At this stage, I feel it more important to give most of my support to my dad, who has to carry and support my mom during this time.  I love both my parents very much.  And even though my brother and I are far from home, we support them in our hearts.  We will support both them and each other.

I want to ask a favour for all who reads this:  I want you all to wear a pink ribbon this day/week/month or for however long you like.  Even if you don’t wear it on your clothes, wear it on your heart.  Support those with cancer.  Pray for them.  Believe that God knows best in their lives.  Smile at them.  Talk to them.

Cancer may be an illness, but those ill are still normal people.

Revamped

Seeing as this is a time of huge adaptation in my life, I decided to change my blog a bit.

The girl represents me…standing alone in this whole world.  All the posts represent the experiences, both those that have passed and those that have yet to come.  The extras symbolize every person whose support I have and who I am very thankful to have in my life.  Without you there is no me.

The green adds a different feel to the blog.  Its earthiness reminds me that we all have to eventually turn to dust.  To earth.

Today I let God take full control again.  The driver’s license on my life expired.  I’m through with doing it myself.

Today I am taking God’s taxi.

Today…

I change my life.

The Road Not Taken

Most probably one of my favourite poems ever:

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim Because it was grassy and wanted wear, Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I marked the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost

I think there is a time in everyone’s life when they have a choice.  Always wondering what would have happened if the other road was taken.  Wondering how life would have been.

We can’t se into the future, so we don’t always know what effect a decision will have on our lives.  But if we trust in God, He will help us and guide us through our journey.

Believing isn’t always easy, but it is the road less traveled by.  And that will make all the difference.

One step at a time…

This is it…

The life as I new it is over, and now I have the privilege to start a new life, with new responsibilities, new experiences, new friends and new loves.

It’s kind of weird knowing that I am all “grown up” and leaving the house next year.  Everything is such a blur…especially the future.  Over the past 11 years I knew that I was going back to school the following year, I knew what to expect, but now I fear the future.  It feels so awkward not knowing what to expect.

Most people I see in town ask me if I’m looking forward to next year.  To be honest:  I’m scared out of my wits.  I’m so afraid that I won’t be able to cope without my parents, so afraid that I will give in to the temptations of the “adult” world.  So scared that I won’t be me anymore.

But then I remember these words:

Hebrews 13 : 5

For God has said: “I will never leave you;   I will never abandon you”

Fear is a natural thing, but the only way we can conquer it, is if we face it with God.

One step at a time…

Ultimate sacrifice

We occasionally find ourselves in a world full of hatred and sadness.  Yet we also find happiness, once you know where to look.

As humans we love, but sometimes we also want to be loved.  Or sometimes we want something we know what we can’t have.  One of these things is happiness.  Especially when you’re talking about relationships.

Picture yourself in a relationship.  You are absolutely crazy about the other person, but like your luck: he has someone else.  Being the best friend you are devastated.  So what do you do you ask?  That is the wrong question.  The question you should be asking is: “Do I want him/her to be happy?”.  If you answer yes, you will do anything you can just to make the other one happy, no matter what it takes.  Even if it means sacrificing your own feelings for this person and stepping back, so that he/she can be with the one he/she loves.

That my friends is true friendship.  It is exactly what Jesus has done for us on the cross.  He died so that we can be happy and free of sin.  He sacrificed a lot more than we can ever wish to repay.  Maybe it’s time we think more about others than about ourselves.

What will you do to make someone happy?  Will you sacrifice yourself for the happiness of another?

Shrewd Shock

In our world there are many beliefs.

There are Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists etc etc.  But then you get those people who don’t have any beliefs, atheists.  Someone who denies the existence of God.

Johan wrote a post about Nathan Bond’s post.  In short,  Nathan is an atheist.  Johan is a Christian.  These are two people with very different views.

Since Christianity (I believe) came into existence, there was a struggle between atheists and Christians.  Their beliefs counter each other.  It’s mostly a struggle between who’s right and who’s right.  It’s as if the two parties are always trying to convince each other of their own views. (This is not applicable on Nathan or Johan)

My question is this:  How can Christians and Atheists live together in peace and harmony.  Without fighting unnecessarily?  As Christians, we were given order to preach the word of God, yet also we have to respect others at the same time, so what do we do?

The Bucket List

Have you ever had something you wanted to do before you die?  Just ONE thing?  What would it be?

I’ve watched the movie The Bucket List starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, two of my favourite actors by far.

The movie is about two elderly men in the same hospital, in the same ward, in the same room.  Total and complete strangers.  Both diagnosed with cancer.  Carter (Morgan Freeman) wrote a list, he called the bucket list…

A list of things to do before you cick the bucket..

They became friends in the hospital, got well together.  They each added on to the Bucket List. And together they started to complete the list by traveling the world.  Overcoming obstacles, bonding closer.  Coming to terms with their nearing deaths.

This movie was in all sense spectacular.  Not because of a miracle, or a handsome hero, but because of its simplicity.  There is nothing out of the ordinary in this picture, just two elderly men making their dreams come true, it makes one appreciate the smaller things in life.

In watching this, I’ve realized that there hasn’t have to be a miracle to witness God.  It can be something so ordinary like this film.  It is sad, heartbreaking, captivating, an absolute must-see.

One of the things on the list was:

Helping a complete stranger for the good

Something I think everyone (not only Christians) should make part of their own Bucket List.

Why?

Because we are human, and every human has the right to be treated with the respect and love he or she deserves.

In the end, we will all witness something majestic, whether they’re Christian, Muslim or Buddhist…

Process of achievement

What is achievement?

Is it something that you consider worth talking about, or something that others find worthy enough to talk about.

Now matter how hard you try, you will always be disappointed in some matter.

God gave each of us unique talents and skills.  I see disappointment as a lesson from our heavenly Father.  Maybe he wants to tell us that we don’t belong there, maybe he pushes us to our limits because he knows that we can do more.

The word TEAM can be read as follows

T – together

E – everyone

A – achieves

M – more

You and God are a team.  Without working together and communicating in your team, you fail to achieve what you want most in life, be it a distinction, an athletics scholarship or even just to buy that pair of shoes you’ve had your eye on for so long.

Sometimes you get what you want, other times you live with the disappoint of missing out, whether you worked hard for that one thing or not…live doesn’t always go your way.

Such A Beautiful thing…

Every Friday we have choir practice in the afternoon after school.

Last night on the way back, we stopped for pizza.  After settling down everyone together we started to enjoy our respective cheese filled pizzas.  But then something caught my eye, one of my fellow choir members (a boy) bowed his head and he prayed for his meal.

Never in my life have I quite witnessed something so beautiful.  So silent in his own world with God.  Most of the time, I think, we see prayer as an absolute necessity. If there is something I learned yesterday, it is that prayer is a most beautiful thing.